The Winter Spectre
by bioticnerfherder
Summary: AU in which Project Lazarus fails and Cerberus pulls a Winter Soldier: following the death of Commander Eva Shepard, new human Spectre Kaidan Alenko is tasked with confronting a new threat. Together with the original Team Milky Way and a few new faces, they discover not all is what it seems (AU for the events of Virmire, ME2 3; rated M for violence/themes). cover art by szajnie
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've been sitting on this for a while, and in light of tumblr user omegastation's Mass Effect AU week I thought it was appropriate to finally post it! On tumblr there was a lot of discussion regarding 'AU in which Cerberus pulls a Winter Soldier and Kai Leng is Kaidan you left on Virmire', but this post (/post/104259970185) by** **tumblr user krempuffs** **made me think what if Shepard had been the Winter Soldier instead? And alas, The Winter Spectre was born!**

 **As the description suggests, this fic is a total AU post-ME1. There is a major stray from ME1 canon too, as the description suggests. It will also draw inspiration from Winter Soldier storyline in the MCU (both The Winter Soldier and Civil War... minus the Avengers stuff)**

 **So thank you for giving my total crack AU/somewhat crossover fic a chance, especially after that obnoxious cover art (my hand slipped while I was using Photoshop I swear). This is a relatively short chapter to start things off, hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: BioWare owns Mass Effect  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 _Location unknown, ten months prior_

"Can it be done or not?"

"Sir... the modifications you are suggesting are... extensive. Most would argue it is completely inhumane."

"But can you get it _done_?"

"...yes."

"Good. I'll expect frequent updates. I trust the labs are in order?"

"Of course. Miss Lawson was meticulous, as usual. Have you received any updates from her?"

"Miss Lawson is enroute to her latest project, which is none of your concern. The only thing on your mind should be the task at hand."

"Yes sir. I will set up my equipment and begin work immediately."

"Good. And... make sure you succeed this time."

* * *

 _Present_

Kaidan exhaled sharply through his teeth. He did what he always did on sleepless nights like this: he booted up his omni-tool to listen to some old news reports.

 _17.8.2183 -_ _Breaking news coming from the Omega Nebula. Incoming reports suggest that an Alliance cruiser has been attacked by an unknown vessel in the Amada system. We will keep you updated as details emerge. This has been Emily Wong, FCC News._

 _18.8.2183 -_ _We can now confirm that the Alliance ship attacked and destroyed yesterday in the Amada system was none other than the SSV Normandy, the ship that was under the authority of Commander Eva Shepard. Commander Shepard, the first human Spectre, led the efforts against rogue Spectre Saren Arterius and played a pivotal role during the Battle of the Citadel. Escape pods from the SSV Normandy have been recovered, but Systems Alliance has dispatched ships to search for remaining escape pods and survivors, including the currently MIA Commander Shepard. As always, we will keep you updated as details emerge. This has been Emily Wong, FCC News._

 _7.9.2183 -_ _The Systems Alliance released a statement today that after weeks of searching, they have officially declared Commander Eva Shepard, first human Spectre, killed in action. The announcement was met with various reactions, among them protests at the lack of a body. The Council expressed their deepest condolences after the announcement, hailing Commander Shepard as the Saviour of the Citadel, and stated there were plans with the Systems Alliance for a joint funeral and memorial service on the Citadel later this week. This has been Emily Wong, FCC News._

Kaidan shut off his omni-tool and rolled onto his side, trying to bring about sleep that he knew deep down would not come tonight. He didn't know why he still has these news reports saved on his omni-tool, and he didn't know how many times he had listened to them. Somehow the events still didn't seem real to him – as if they were a dream, as if everything that happened since then didn't. Even if though it'd been almost two years.

"Commander," his comm buzzed. "Apologies for the late hour, but Councillor Anderson is requesting to speak with you."

Kaidan sighed and swung his legs off the side of his too large and too empty bed. "Thank you, Joker. Have EDI patch the call through to my personal console, I'm not in a state for vid comm tonight."

The AI's smooth voice replied instead of Joker's. "Patching him through, Commander."

As he sauntered over to his personal console, narrowly avoiding stubbing his toe on the few short steps to his work area, Kaidan briefly thought back to how he ended up in this situation.

* * *

 _The Citadel, three months prior_

"Your former crewmate, Tali'Zorah vas Neema, forwarded this information to me. She said she had been tasked with rescuing a Quarian on his pilgrimage from a recently attacked colony, and thought I would find the data he obtained interesting. She was right. Yet again we find ourselves able to launch a Spectre mission from evidence provided by Miss Tali'Zorah."

Kaidan nodded, ignoring the guilt that ebbed at him whenever he heard the names of his old friends. "Tali has always been very resourceful. What was the evidence?"

Anderson reached towards his desk to flick on the console, and footage appeared of dark, insect-like figures placing the colonists in some sort of pods. "Security footage from Freedom's Progress. The perpetrators of these attacks are the Collectors."

"The Collectors? I thought they were a myth!"

"I did too," the human ambassador interjected into their conversation.

Anderson completely ignored Udina and continued. "So did the Council. But this evidence brought to us by Tali'Zorah has helped me to convince the rest of the Council to allow us to send you after the Collectors. They are rightfully worried that the Collectors may branch out onto other species' colonies, and we want to stop the threat before it can take root."

Kaidan gaped. "This is a big mission, Councillor. I don't even have a ship or a crew to my name."

Anderson nodded in response. "It is, Commander. But you won't be doing it alone. Udina found you a sponsor."

"A sponsor?"

"Yes, a sponsor." Udina seemed suddenly excited. "The Systems Alliance is wary of assigning a ship and crew for another Spectre and Council-related mission, after what happened with the Normandy." Kaidan winced at his words, but if Udina noticed he did not show it. "I've found a sponsor who is willing to fund the mission and provide you with a ship and crew. Your team, your squad, is up to you to recruit, but I am sure with all the connections you have made in the past you won't have a problem."

Kaidan considered his options. "Who exactly is this sponsor?"

"He wished his contributions to be anonymous, not wanting any recognition publicly. He has referred to himself only as the Illusive Man." Udina typed something else into the console, and almost immediately Kaidan's omni-tool pinged with a new message. "Take a look at the details when we're done here, including where you are to board your new ship. The Illusive Man has a broad information network and has also stated he will keep you updated with any intel he comes across that may be of use."

He frowned. "This all seems a little suspicious."

"I don't like it either, Alenko," Anderson piped in. "But somebody needs to investigate these colonies and our options are slim. Alliance Brass is standing firm on their position. While the Council is granting you plenty of funding and access to weapons and supplies, the ship and crew would be up to you to get. This 'Illusive Man' is offering a crew and ship with, he claims, no strings attached." Anderson leaned back in his seat. "Besides, I think you might like the ship and some of the crew members aboard."

* * *

 _Normandy SR-2, present_

Kaidan reached down and activated his personal console. "Anderson."

Anderson's voice came back weary. "Alenko, apologies for the late hour. I wasn't sure where you were, and at what point in your night cycle it would be. I just wanted an update on the mission, and the people you're picking up to help you."

Kaidan wasn't convinced – the man would never contact him during off-hours if it weren't important. But for now, Kaidan proceeded to update him anyway.

"I have thus far been collecting intel and recruiting squad members for the mission. The Collectors haven't hit a colony since Freedom's Progress, and they're very much ghosts – nobody knows much about them."

"You pick up any interesting people?"

He cleared his throat. "At the suggestion of Miranda Lawson, the Normandy's XO provided by the Illusive Man, we picked up Dr. Mordin Solus, a brilliant Salarian scientist. He is developing an anti-dote for the Collector seeker swarms, among other research. I also enlisted the help of my old friends Garrus Vakarian and Tali'Zorah vas Neema. Other than that, I have recruited experts of various fields; a tech-expert, a veteran, and an Asari Justicar to name a few."

He left out some of the details, of course. He didn't want to mention that Thane was an assassin, Zaeed a mercenary, Jack a former criminal, and Kasumi a master thief. They'd so far earned his respect – and to an extent trust – by being extremely loyal and powerful allies.

Kaidan took a deep breath before continuing. "I sought out Urdnot Wrex and Dr. Liara T'Soni, but they both could not join me. Dr. T'Soni has promised to send me useful intel she comes across, while Urdnot Wrex insisted he needed to stay on Tuchanka. He suggested I seek out the Krogan Warlord and scientist Okeer."

He bit his tongue, again leaving out some details. Okeer had not actually joined the Normandy crew, because he'd been killed before they could extract him from the merc base. Instead, he left them with his genetically engineered krogan, who had chosen the name Grunt.

"As long as you can trust them and they have your back, Alenko."

"With all due respect, sir, I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me."

The reply was hesitant. "This isn't a secure channel, son. But something is fishy. All I can tell you right now is don't trust everything immediately."

Kaidan was taken aback. "Sir?"

"That's all for now." Anderson's voice seemed to shift in tone. "I also wanted to let you know that the Council is considering opening another Spectre position to a human. Eventually we will want you to evaluate our candidate, but for now your mission takes priority."

"But that's excellent news!"

Kaidan let out a sigh of relief; he'd been a Spectre for almost a year, but he was already tired of the bureaucratic responsibilities that came with being humanity's only Spectre. _How did She ever deal with it when She was the only one?_ He thought maybe another human Spectre could take away some of his burden.

"Who is the candidate?"

"Your former squadmate, First Lieutenant Ashley Williams."


	2. Chapter 2: D&M

**A/N: I am sorry, another relatively slow chapter to continue our introduction to this alternate universe. Things will pick up the pace next chapter, I promise! And thank you to for Endrius for reviewing!**

 **Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: D &M**

"Mr. Vakarian, Commander Alenko has placed an order for the upgrade parts you suggested."

Garrus chuckled at EDI's formality. "EDI, I've been on board for almost three months. Please drop the formalities and call me Garrus? Mr. Vakarian is my father." He shook his head. "Anyway, do you have an estimate as to when we'll have the Thanix Cannon parts? I want to start prepping the systems for all the calibrations the new gun will require."

"Estimate unavailable at this time. We are scheduled to return to the Citadel next week, though mission parameters state to expect deviation from programs. However, if our agenda is to be followed, the parts will be ready for pick up when we arrive at the Citadel."

"Wow," he teased. "If I'd known Spectres could get these kind of parts so fast I would have persevered in my Spectre training! But thanks, EDI."

"Noted, Garrus. However, might I suggest some sustenance? Your last logged meal was 8 hours ago, and it is late into our current night cycle."

"EDI, I think you should get to know me a little better before you start mothering me, don't you?"

"I do not understand the notion behind that request."

He laughed – he loved having some fun with the AI, despite Joker's protests. He could just hear him now: _'Why are you trying to be friendly with_ it _?'_

"That was a joke, EDI." Garrus sighed. "But you are right, I am a bit tired and a bit hungry. Good night, EDI."

"Logging you out."

Garrus pushed himself up from his position on the floor of the Main Battery and headed to the Mess Hall (creeping as quietly as he could past the sleeper pods). Thankfully, he'd learned exactly where Mess Sergeant Gardner stored the dextro-amino food and grabbed two protein drink pouches.

He tore into a pouch before hearing the soft _beeps_ of an omni-tool and realised he wasn't alone. Glancing at the Mess Hall dining table, he saw Tali fidgeting with her back towards him.

Garrus grabbed a straw, strolled over and sat down opposite her, sliding his second drink pouch across the table to her. "And what are you doing awake at this hour, Tali?"

Tali looked up at him, startled. "Oh, hi Garrus. And thanks," she said as she poked the drink pouch, before immediately turning her attention back to her omni-tool.

Something about her tone didn't sit right with him. "What's wrong?"

"Well, it's nothing really. Just that the data my team collected on Haestrom... the data my team _died_ for… it hasn't been useful at all so far."

"I mean, Tali, it's only been what, two? Three weeks? And not your entire team was lost. We did get Kal'Reegar out alive."

Tali sighed. "You're right, but… it's got me thinking."

"Uh oh, that's dangerous." Tali immediately looked up and Garrus swore he could see her eyes narrowing under the mask. He threw his arms up in surrender before handing her the straw. "I'm just kidding, Tali. What's on your mind?"

"What am I _doing_ here? Really?" She fiddled with the straw (or as she liked to call it, _emergency induction port_ ) and carefully took the first sip of her drink. "Why did I join this mission?"

Garrus tilted his head slightly in confusion. "Because… we're getting the old gang back together to stop a sinister threat? Just like old times?"

He could hear the scowl in Tali's voice. " _Duh_ , but that's not what I'm talking about. Let me be… harsher. The Collectors have attacked only human colonies, besides that one tiny turian colony – but that was never confirmed to be the Collectors anyway. Us quarians have no colonies for the Collectors to attack, and unless they bring a big fleet I don't think they'd dare attack the Migrant Fleet. So what am I, a quarian, doing here, back on a human ship, on a potential suicide mission when I could be working on some important stuff for my people? Like the data my team gave their lives for on Haestrom?"

Garrus watched Tali sipping her protein pouch for a long moment, mulling over her words. Finally he sighed, his mandibles pulling downwards in a frown. "Tali, I've never been a good turian. And you're not a good quarian, either. Eva made sure of that."

His friend made a sound to respond but Garrus lifted a talon to interrupt her, continuing before she could protest. "She made me see that the galaxy is much bigger than just one species and its problems, and that we all need to come together when another is in need. And I know she showed you the same. I know it because you stayed on the Normandy, even after Shepard helped you find the stuff to complete your pilgrimage. I know it because after we defeated Saren, you accepted her invitation to continue working on the Normandy instead of returning to the Migrant Fleet. You only returned after… after Alchera, when our transfers were dismissed." He shrugged. "You and I both know, just like Shepard did and just like Kaidan does, how else are we going to fight the Reapers, when they come, without unity?"

Tali sighed after a moment, her shoulders sagging slightly. "You're right, I suppose. We need to stick together in each other's times of need." She took another sip from her drink, obviously mulling something over. "So, do you ever wonder… do you ever wonder _why_ we all drifted apart?"

"I used to." Garrus paused to finish off his drink. "There were a few weeks when I blamed Kaidan, actually. With his promotion, he could have easily re-approved our transfers instead of isolating himself from us and wallowing in his grief like he did. Instead, I got booted back to C-Sec, which is the reason I ended up going vigilante. But what with Kaidan and Eva being… you know… I guess his wounds were too deep to bounce back from immediately. It wasn't fair for me to blame him when I myself was really upset about Shepard's passing."

He paused for a moment to take a few breaths. "Besides, now that we're mostly all back together there's no point in looking back and questioning the past. Yeah, we all mourned Shepard. We mourned in our own way, but we're doing some good now, and that's what matters. This is exactly the kind of mission she would have roped us into doing, and you know it too. That's why when Kaidan found me, in that dirty hole Omega, I joined him."

"Oh really?" Tali's tone was playful. "Not because you had multiple bounties on your head and he rescued you from certain death?"

Garrus chuckled quietly. "Well, that may have been an influencing factor. But Kaidan isn't like that; he gave me a choice after we left Omega. He's always treated everyone fairly, never pre-judged anyone, and I think that might have been one of the reasons Shepard was… attracted to him."

"Garrus, I think _attracted_ is an understatement." She paused for a sip. "They may have tried to hide it from us, yet there was something going on that meant a lot to both of them." She sighed, "but you're right. It was two years ago. It _is_ in the past and what matters is, like you said, the good that we're doing now."

Tali stood up, sliding the rest of her drink across the table to Garrus. "Thanks for having this talk with me, Garrus. Now I know I really did make the right choice to join you idiots on your suicide mission." She started walking away, throwing a last remark over her shoulder. "Besides, you'll need someone to save your butt in the end!"

Garrus chucked once more, picking up the pouch to finish it off. "I think it'll be vice-versa, Miss Nar-Rayya!"

"It's _vas Neema_ now!"

* * *

Miranda Lawson stood silently in the doorway of her office listening to the conversation happening in the Mess Hall.

She'd just finished sifting through intel sent to her by the Illusive Man's numerous scouts and had wanted a glass of water before retiring for the night, but the intimate conversation between Tali'Zorah and Garrus had piqued her interest.

"But Kaidan is not like that; he gave me a choice after we left Omega. He's never been like that. He's always treated everyone fairly and I think that might have been one of the reasons Shepard became attracted to him."

"Garrus, I think _attracted_ is an understatement. They may have never defined it openly to us, yet there was something going on that meant a lot to both of them."

Miranda gnawed on her bottom lip. _If only those two knew just how far the relationship went…_

She heard Tali teasing Garrus before her voice trailed off, and a few minutes later she heard heavier footsteps leaving the Mess Hall. Miranda finally retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen and noiselessly withdrew into her office, sipping at her water.

Miranda knew Commander Eva Shepard's service history back to front. She shamefully knew it better than Commander Kaidan Alenko's, even though he was her 'commanding officer' (but he wasn't _technically_ her commanding officer, since the SR-2 was a civilian vessel). Miranda had studied Shepard meticulously – she'd even hacked Alliance databases to read her pre-service history and the psych-profiles and interviews that had been conducted after Akuze and Elysium. Miranda had even found the marriage certificate, hastily issued at some small town hall on Earth somewhere. She had dug far enough down to feel like she knew Shepard personally; even if she could tell they would have disagreed on many things, she admired Commander Shepard, and not only for her numerous achievements.

While Miranda respected Commander Alenko and thought he was an exceptional leader (the best they _could_ have for this mission), one of her biggest regrets was that she wouldn't ever meet Commander Shepard.

Setting down her glass, Miranda quickly changed out of her jumpsuit and climbed into bed. She shut off the lights and settled onto her pillow, engrossed in her thoughts and recounting the conversation she'd just overheard.

She wasn't surprised that Garrus had decided to join them based on his admiration of Shepard and rekindled friendship with Commander Alenko. She wasn't surprised that Tali had done the same, but she was surprised about one thing: that Shepard's own best friends didn't know the details of her past relationship with Alenko. _Perhaps it's better that way._

* * *

Kaidan shut off his console, considering Anderson's warning for a few more minutes. Councillor Anderson was a smart and resourceful man, so Kaidan knew that anything he said shouldn't be taken lightly. But ' _don't trust everything immediately_?' Those words carried an ominous feeling that set the gears in Kaidan's mind running.

He moved to the bathroom, locking the door behind him and turning on the shower as strong as it would go. He squeezed himself as close as possible to the stream of water without going directly under it before he opened the rudimentary communications app on his omni-tool; the quality of conversation wouldn't be great, but at least it would be unmonitored and the running water would stop anyone (or any bugs) from eavesdropping on his conversation.

The voice responded almost immediately. "Kaidan, it's good to hear from you."

"Liara," he murmured. "How are things on Illium?"

Maybe he and Liara hadn't been the best of friends back in the day, but he was glad to hear her voice again now. In this sea filled with new faces, Kaidan was grateful that some of his old friends were around him, offering their support.

"Better, now that I've gotten rid of the Observer. Thanks again for the help." The simplistic comm channel was rough and her voice came through patchy. "But at this isn't a social call. What can I do for you, Kaidan?"

Despite himself, the corners of his mouth turned upwards. Liara really had come far since they met.

"I know you said you don't know much about my 'sponsor,' but I had a suspicious call from Councillor Anderson tonight." He cleared his throat, bringing his voice a bit lower. "Can you have some agents fishing for information?"

"I'm one step ahead of you, Kaidan." He could hear a frown in her voice as she continued. "Though the Illusive Man does live up to his name. I haven't found anything of note yet but I'm confident my agents will have something for me soon. I'll keep you in the loop."

He exhaled, relieved and appreciative of his friend's support. "Thank you, Liara. It means a lot to me that you have my back."

"Of course, Kaidan. And one more thing – I might have found somebody interesting if you're still looking to expand your team. I've caught wind of some kind of vigilante targeting slavers in the Terminus Systems. Whoever they are, they seem to have whipped Batarian activity to a record low."

"That's great information, Liara, but I think one vigilante is enough for this ship." Kaidan smirked to himself. "I'm not sure Garrus would like any competition."

"Ah, well I suppose that's true. But I'll forward you their last known coordinates in an encrypted message anyway. I thought they might be a powerful ally, because from what my agents have told me, this person is working solo."

Kaidan raised an eyebrow. "That _is_ impressive. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for everything, Liara."

"It was nice to hear from you, Kaidan. I hope by your next stop at Illium I'll have some more information for you."

With a click the line went dead.

Kaidan turned off the shower but stood in the bathroom for a few more minutes. He made to retreat back to his bed but paused in front of the mirror, inspecting himself for the first time in a while.

He hadn't shaved for a few days and his stubble was beginning to look unruly. The dark circles under his eyes were starting to become more apparent, but with there was nothing he could do about his insomnia if he didn't want to take the meds Chakwas kept trying to prescribe him. But other than looking tired, his body was still toned – he didn't look as much of a mess as he felt.

Upon exiting the bathroom, EDI's voice immediately chimed in. "Commander, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you immediately. He stressed urgency."

"I'll be right there, EDI," Kaidan sighed. Tonight was certainly a long night.

He pulled on a shirt and made his way to the elevator.

* * *

The _ping_ of an urgent message rudely brought Miranda out of her sleep. She immediately arose from her bed and was at her console within three steps to read what was so urgent.

 _Lawson, urgent new intel. Please report to the comm room with Commander Alenko right now._

She raised an eyebrow at the message; the Collectors hadn't hit a colony since Freedom's Progress, and useful intel was starting to become scarce. It was about time they had something to go on.

Miranda quickly pulled her jumpsuit back on and rushed to the elevator. Judging by the quiet of the Mess Hall, they were still in their current night cycle and it was too early for the crew to wake up and take over from EDI's capable care.

Commander Alenko was already speaking with the Illusive Man when Miranda got to the comm room. She stepped onto the communications pad, returning Commander Alenko's nod before turning to her boss.

"Thank you for joining us, Miranda. As I was just telling Commander Alenko, we may have an idea of the next colony to be hit."

"That's good news. How?"

The Illusive Man took a drag from his ever-present cigarette before replying. "The colony has gone dark. Communications are cut off completely. After analysing what happened at the other colonies, this is usually what happened before an attack. It's an educated guess, but this is more warning than we've ever had yet."

"This is really important information, thank you for bringing this to us." Miranda couldn't help but notice Commander Alenko sounded a little apprehensive this morning.

"Has Mordin Solus made progress with an anti-dote to the seeker swarms?"

She nodded. "He has developed something but we've been unable to test it yet."

"Well I hope his countermeasure works. We've never had an opportunity like this one and it shouldn't be wasted."

The commander took a step back, already exiting the conversation. "I'll have Joker and EDI take us to Horizon right away."

* * *

 **A/N:** **Thank you for reading! You can contact me here, on my tumblr (bioticnerfherder) or my Mass Effect tumblr (shepeffect)!**


	3. Chapter 3: Horizon

**Disclaimer: Bioware owns Mass Effect**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Horizon**

 _Blood gushes out of her front. She frantically tries to apply pressure on the wound with one hand while keeping her gun up in the other, but she's failing._

 _Damn it, Williams, you just_ had _to get separated from the salarians. You should have followed Captain Kirrahe's orders to fall back to extraction point. You just_ had _to get that last Prime, didn't you?_

 _Her assault rifle and pistol are almost out of clips. She's too weak to lift her shotgun, and she can't use her sniper rifle one-handed._

 _This is it._

 _Sorry, Skipper. Sorry, Sarah, Lynn, Abby. Sorry, dad. Hope you're proud._

 _She closes her eyes._

Ashley bolted upright, hands flying straight to her ribcage. It had been some time since she'd last had the nightmare, and it took a reassuring self-pat down to relieve the stressed stiffness of her body. Ashley released a shaky breath as she found was she was looking for – the scar tissue below her sternum. It served as her daily reminder to be grateful. She'd been lucky that day and she never forgot to pray thanks every night since.

But truth be told, Ashley knew whom she truly owed her life to, and that was one woman.

Sighing, she slunk back down into her bed. After Virmire, she'd had the nightmare maybe once or twice. She'd had plenty of time to reflect on the events during her extended hospital stay, especially while her friends had had to return to their mission _without_ her. But the nightmares only truly made her skin crawl after Alchera, plaguing her sleep every few weeks for the past two years, especially intent on tormenting her.

She knew full well why. It was her guilty conscience gnawing at her, reminding her that the friend who hadn't given up on her that day, who had saved her life on that damn planet, was dead and Ashley had done nothing to stop that from happening.

Ashley closed her eyes for a few minutes. Whenever she had her near-death nightmare, she ended up replaying the events over Alchera in her mind. She'd been up in the CIC and had checked on Joker before she ran down to the shuttle bay to help evacuate. She'd _told_ Joker to evacuate and didn't even try to convince him when he refused. What if she'd shoved Joker in the escape pod?

 _Would Eva still be alive now?_

Ashley pushed the thought out of her mind. Two years – there was no changing what had happened.

She quickly checked the time on her omni-tool. Deeming it an acceptable hour, she climbed out of her bunk, tied up her hair and threw on her sports bra and shorts for her morning stretches and mini work out. She wanted nothing more than to go for a brisk jog to clear her mind, but she knew the colonists hated seeing her around even if she hadn't been here for too long. Ashley had taken to reducing her visibility around the colony as much as she could, limiting her interactions with the colonists to meals and work hours because she didn't want the people more suspicious of her than they already were. Lilith assured Ashley it was nothing personal; it was simply mistrust of the Alliance and the colonists would come around soon.

Ashley somehow doubted that.

Finishing up her last set of crunches, she showered quickly and got dressed. It was still too early to start work so instead of strapping on her armour, Ashley sat down at her personal console to check some messages. There was the usual update from Sarah, comments on her latest report from Councillor Anderson – nothing new or noteworthy.

She sat in silence for a few moments, her mind wandering again to her nightmare. Her hands drifted to her left thigh, absent-mindedly tracing the scar of the medical implant – the only sign left that her femur had once been so broken it required an implant to heal correctly. As she moved back to the small crescent-shaped scar tissue below her chest, Ashley actively pushed away thoughts of _what if I did this instead_ and _what if that happened_. Like a mantra, she whispered in her mind that what's done was done, and two years had already gone by.

Survivor's guilt was a bitch and Ashley Williams would fight anyone who disagreed.

* * *

"Good morning Lieutenant Williams. How are you?"

Lilith was really the only person who tolerated Ashley in this damn colony and she really appreciated it.

"Please, like I've said before, call me Ashley." She mustered up the warmest smile she could at her counterpart as she sat down for breakfast. "I'm alright, I could have slept better but otherwise I'm just fine. And yourself?"

"Fine, thank you."

Ashley had dreamt her recurring nightmare again last night, and she guessed it was starting to show on her face because Lilith frowned. "Is there something wrong with your quarters? Anything you need?"

"No," Ashley took a swig from her mug of coffee. "It's just me, don't worry about it. The room is fine."

A look of recognition passed over Lilith's eyes. "Ah, I see. Please do let me know if there is anything you need."

Lilith turned back to her breakfast as Ashley started to pick at her own. "Any progress on the comms?"

Last night the colony's communications system had mysteriously malfunctioned, right before the evening rush of post-dinner calls to relatives. Ashley, Lilith, and a few of the other handymen of the colony had worked late into the night to try and fix the issue, but to no avail.

Her colony counterpart sighed. "No, unfortunately not. We worked for another hour after you left last night, but we can't quite figure out what's gone wrong."

"Great," Ashley frowned. "I was hoping to try something new today with the GARDIAN towers."

"Oh?"

"No, nothing big. I was just going to try and call an old friend who is particularly good with calibrating big guns, but if the comms are still out I'll have to give it another shot myself." Ashley sighed. "I'm surprised no one has tried to pin the black out on me, too."

"Lieu– Ashley, I've said before. The people here distrust the Alliance, it's why they're out here in the first place. It's not personal and they'll warm up to you. And I for one will be glad to have the extra defences if the rumours about attacks on Terminus colonies are to be believed." Lilith smiled at her.

Ashley smiled tightly at the woman across from her before turning back to and finishing her breakfast. Lilith's comment on the colony attacks was a little too close to the truth; she had wondered how long it would take Lilith to realise that Ashley was not great with tech stuff and the real reason she was here wasn't for Alliance Outreach.

The pair finished their meals in silence, no more chitchat necessary. Lilith waited for Ashley to finish her breakfast and the two cleared off their trays, exiting the cafeteria together.

Ashley kept a brisk pace, and the shorter woman Lilith had to work to keep up. But the faster Ashley walked, the less time she had to spend ignoring the stares and rude gestures behind her back – she saw them, but she pretended she didn't – from the colonists, and so she kept her head down and skirted along the outer edge of the colony to head east towards the towers. She hated the fact that the cafeteria was pretty much on the other side of the colony from them.

"Are you going to check up on the comm systems or head straight to the towers with me?" She asked Lilith.

Lilith shook her head. "Delan is working on the comms, he's going to investigate at main power hub. He thinks something could have short-circuited there."

Ashley nodded, glancing at Lilith quickly but keeping her head down. "Right. Hopefully today will be the day that the towers are done, then."

A cloud moved in front of Horizon's sun as a light breeze blew over the women. Ashley wiped at the sweat on her forehead, grateful for the lull in the heat. It took her a moment to realise Lilith had stopped walking beside her. It took her another few seconds to remember that during the dry season on Horizon there were never any clouds.

Ashley gulped, tilting her head up to the sky with increasing dread. Her stomach dropped when she saw the huge, organic-looking ship converging on them, large enough to block out the sun. She pulled out her sniper rifle and used her scope to inspect the ship more closely.

"It's not… it's not heading straight towards us."

Lilith's face had frozen in horror, a hand hovering near her mouth. "No, it's–"

Suddenly, the ship released an enormous beam of energy at the ground. But again, it wasn't aimed at the colony itself. Ashley watched as the beam crashed and created a huge explosion just over a hill on the northern outskirts of the colony; was it their warning? Was it just a display of their power?

"The transport hub!" Lilith shrieked.

 _Of course._ They destroyed the transport hub. "They want to stop us from escaping…"

Ashley turned on her heels away from the ship and grabbed Lilith's shoulder, immediately going into soldier mode. "Lilith. I need you to get everyone out of here, now! I don't care how, just run as far as you can from the colony. I'm going to head back to the comm centre and try again to contact for help, but everyone needs to leave, now!"

Lilith seemed paralysed in place, her eyes focused at something over Ashley's shoulder. It was then that Ash heard the buzzing, growing louder every second. She turned and saw the source of the noise – what looked like a swarm of giant bugs.

 _Exodus: 'I will bring locusts into your country tomorrow. They will cover the face of the ground so that it cannot be seen.'_

So the evidence from Freedom's Progress was real. Ashley shuddered before pulling her focus back to the situation.

"Lilith, GO!"

Finally the woman snapped out of it, sprinting back the way they had come and shouting warnings all the while. Ashley turned back to the swarm, pulling out her assault rifle and backpedalling as she shot at the closest few.

It wasn't long before a sharp sensation pricked at the base of her skull and she grimaced in pain as some venom spread through her body. She plucked off the offending insect, throwing it to the ground and crushing it under her boot before taking aim with her rifle again. Ashley squeezed the trigger, but this time nothing happened.

Whatever that bug had stung her with, it had paralysed her.

She widened her eyes in panic. What was she going to do? The colonists were depending on her.

Ashley watched helplessly as the ship changed direction, heading to the opposite western end of the colony. The Collectors' plan was simple and evident enough – destroy the transport hub to prevent escape, deploy the seeker swarms to chase the colonists in one direction and then wait for the colonists on the other side, surrounding them and cutting off all ways of escape.

The ugly Collector ship slid out of her field of view, with cries of fear and panic following not long after. She cursed internally, wracking her brain for a solution.

As best as she could, Ashley surveyed her surroundings – she was on the outermost path of this northeast part of the colony, nothing to her left but the sprawling forests of Horizon. The GARDIAN towers were not far away, at the east end, and she could just make out the top of the big guns over the prefabs in her peripheral vision. The comm centre was not much farther away, more towards the centre of the colony than the guns, but she still had no idea how to get there in her condition.

The colonists' cries soon died out and an insidious hush fell over the colony. Not even the birds were singing today.

Ashley closed her eyes, wracking her brains for an idea. Once the Collectors were done with the colonists on the far side of the colony, there was no doubt they'd comb through the rest of it and eventually find her. She had to do _something_.

Time passed slowly. Ashley had no idea if it had been hours or mere minutes since the ship landed and silence fell, but she knew for certain her time was running out.

It was then she realised feeling was finally starting to return to her index finger, which still hovered above the trigger of her assault rifle. Was the venom starting to wear off? Or was her body slowly healing to counteract the venom's effects?

Healing. _Healing!_

If her body was healing… could she speed up the process?

Finally, Ashley was starting to get an idea about her predicament. The medi-gel dispenser in her armour was on the small of her back. Sirta had recently modified their Phoenix armour so that their medi-gel dispensers were now capable of administering antibiotics directly into the bloodstream as well as medi-gel on superficial injuries. Luckily for her, she'd picked up the new mod before leaving the Citadel; if she could somehow trigger the dispenser, would that help with healing the rest of her body?

She had no idea if it would work, but she was going to try.

Her paralysed muscles wouldn't be able to resist the recoil of her assault rifle, so firing it would most likely cause her to fall on her back. Hopefully falling directly onto the dispenser would cause some reaction from it.

She could hear gunfire in the distance from the south. Had some colonists managed to avoid the swarms, and were fighting back? Whoever it was, Ashley decided she had to try her plan and go help them.

Ashley took a deep breath. She focused all her attention on her index finger, willing it to move and squeeze the trigger.

As she predicted, the powerful recoil of her rifle threw her unresisting body, landing her on her back. The pressure on the dispenser leaked medi-gel over her body, but that wasn't what she needed; she needed medicine in her bloodstream.

Sweet relief came when she took a deep breath and realised her lungs and chest muscles were free from paralysis – her plan had worked. Ashley greedily gulped at the fresh air around her while she waited for the rest of her body to regain feeling, only now appreciating the fact that she could breathe properly again. It was a few minutes before she could stand up, and even then her muscles were still sore and stiff, but she stood anyway. The leakage of medi-gel had caused a bit of an overdose, making her vision brighter and her heart rate climb, but Ashley didn't care; she was free of the venom and now she had to get to work.

She dashed for cover, immediately surveying her surroundings for nearby life forms. If there were any colonists nearby she could lock them in a prefab while she tried to get the situation under control. The gunfire was getting louder now, so Ashley knew she had to act quickly.

Detecting no signs of life around her, Ashley started heading towards the centre of the colony. She'd try her luck with the comms to send out a distress signal before finding out who was fighting back against the Collectors.

As she continued south into the heart of the colony, the gunfire moved more to her left to the east. She guessed whoever was fighting back was trying to reach the GARDIAN towers, probably to drive the Collector ship away. _Good luck with_ that.

Her hardsuit beeped with the news that there was someone nearby, so she took cover to find the source. She wedged herself in the small space between two prefabs and gathered her surroundings – she wasn't far from the comm centre, but she was closer to the main power hub. The gunfire continued to rage just beyond it. Her armour's scans indicated the presence to be within the power hub, and suddenly Ashley remembered what Lilith had said earlier. She had no doubt the person inside was Delan, who'd probably sealed the doors for cover when the attack came.

Checking her sensors once more, she sprinted as fast as her still aching muscles would allow to the power hub.

"Delan!" She frantically banged on the door after it wouldn't open. "I know you're in there, this is Lieutenant Williams. Open the damn door!"

"And why should I let you in?" His hoarse voice leaked out.

"Because I'm trying to help you, damn it!"

"I already helped that other guy and his little gang. Almost blew my hiding spot. I'm not letting anyone else in!"

"Who?"

"I don't know, some well-armed guy who hacked past my defences. Said he was here to help, said he was gonna bring the towers online. I said good luck with that, you ain't been successful with 'em and I doubt he's gonna be."

Oh crap. Was it possible?

"Delan, _who_?"

"I don't know, I didn't ask his name! He was with some turian, some chick, and another alien. No idea what that last guy was, though."

Ashley leaned with her back against the door and sighed. It _was_ him. After all this time…

She ran a hand over her face. She needed to continue and help the colony, no matter what. "Delan, any luck with the comms?"

"No," he replied darkly. "Not yet."

"Alright, well, I need to get to the towers. Continue work on the comms, okay?"

"Don't need to tell me twice!"

Ashley scowled at the door before heading to the side of the building. She knew the main power hub well, having spent a lot of time here installing the GARDIAN towers into the grid, and knew there were a few handles, small enough to be unnoticed, bolted along its northern surface to allow access to its roof. She'd be visible up there but it'd be a good vantage point from which to do some damage.

She climbed slowly, the after effects of the venom and the unnecessary medi-gel overdose still plaguing her muscles, but she was determined to get up there. Once on top, she pulled out her sniper rifle to use her scope to scrutinise the courtyard containing the towers, and she almost immediately spotted the familiar turian figure.

And some bug-like creatures that sent shivers down her spine.

So _that_ is what Collectors looked like? _Gross_ , she thought. She had to get closer to the courtyard.

With a running jump, she leapt onto a nearby prefab roof, landing awkwardly because of her stiff muscles. She continued from roof to roof, settling on the closest one to the courtyard and setting up her sniper rifle once more. She shot down a few Collectors and was surprised when a few husks showed up; she shot at them too. The creepiest ones, however, were the figures with glowing blue sacs on their back. Ashley guessed it was eezo, given the kind of power that erupted from their guns.

Caught in the midst of the battle, nobody noticed her perched on the rooftop sniping enemies. A few Collectors noticed and attempted to give chase, but her sniper rifle was quicker.

After a few minutes of this, the GARDIAN towers suddenly _moved_.

 _How the hell did they get them online?_

She didn't have much time to think though, as the towers locked onto their target – the Collector ship, which was almost directly behind her. Ashley gasped and dropped flat onto the prefab roof, disoriented by the first few shots of the powerful guns.

Ashley rolled off the roof, winding herself for a moment when she landed hard on the prefab's upper balcony. Catching her breath, she shoved herself off the floor and practically flew down the stairs, running for the courtyard. The adrenaline pumping through her veins was desperately trying to counteract the lingering effects of the Collector swarm's venom, with only minimal success.

Once in the courtyard, she saw a huge flying creature spewing a strong beam at a colourfully tattooed woman, whose language was equally as colourful. Whoever she was, she was casting a strong biotic barrier that kept the blast at bay until she jumped into cover. The beast, tired with the biotic woman, turned to another figure being distracted by a Collector drone – this one Ashley _did_ recognise.

"Watch out, LT!" she cried.

She shot a few rounds of her assault rifle at the _thing_ so its focus wasn't on Kaidan.

Kaidan finished off the drone and turned to Ashley, wide-eyed. "Ash?"

"Duck now, talk later!"

She rolled into cover just in time to avoid a blast. Kaidan took her example and did the same.

"Eat _this_ , bug!" A familiar two-toned voice cried.

Ashley peeked over the crate she was crouched behind to see Garrus firing some sort of Collector rifle at the creature, which finally looked like it was taking damage. She pulled out her shotgun and ran around to flank it, firing shots at its underbelly while it was focused on Garrus and the particle beam. Finally, it collapsed on the ground, letting out a mechanical shriek before dissolving into dust.

Ashley pumped a fist in the air, but her celebration was premature – the ground started vibrating heavily as the Collector ship took off from Horizon. With muscles still aching from the venom, she easily lost her footing as the ground beneath her shook, sending Ashley falling face-first into some metal crates.

Her sluggish reaction wasn't fast enough to catch her fall, and she hit her head hard on a crate.

The last things she remembered before blacking out were two silhouettes towering over her, calling her name.

* * *

 **A/N:** **Thank you for reading! And thank you to Avatar Khalisee for reviewing!**

 **You can contact me here, on my tumblr (bioticnerfherder) or my Mass Effect tumblr (shepeffect)!**


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